Aciou - 5 Minutes In Space

from by The Dick Show

/

lyrics

System: Urgent message from Emperor Pentax

Cpt. Asterios “Robin Hood” Kokkinos: Buh-buh-buh-buh, ummm...

Pentax: I can’t wait to catch that Robin Hood,
and turn him into my sexual slave!

Asterios: ...Alright.

System: Core temperature: Critical

Asterios: God damnit!

System: Mission failure imminent

Asterios: Hmm.

System: Mission: Critical

Helmsman Dick: ASTERIOOOS!

Chef P’Nache: H’We-he-he-hell, mission failure imminent?
I haven’t seen a plasma core breach this hot since
[indecipherable “French”]

Engineer Sean: Oh yeah?

P’Nache: Y’all gonna sink this ship into the bayou.

Sean: Uh huh.

P’Nache: [laughs in French] Plasma core breach.

Sean: Yeah.

System: Mission failure imminent

Asterios: ‘Kay.

System: Mission: Critical

Asterios: Yeah, that’s real good. Call 911 now, that’d be great.

TECHNO SONG
Can I do this without saying “the system is down”?
TECHNO SONG
I guess I can’t. The system is down.
TECHNO SONG
Robin Hood type- type stuff. How ‘bout that?
TECHNO SONG
There you go. Movin’ back, now we need...
TECHNO SONG
I don’t know, how many times has this happened to you?
TECHNO SONG
Thirty thousand dollars to make...

System: Urgent message from Emperor Pentax

Pentax: Why can’t I be more like Robin Hood?
I’m not wearing pants under these robes.

Asterios: ‘Kay.

Sean: I’m done.

Asterios: Let’s see... Warp 9!

System: Warp 9!

Asterios: Warp 10!

System: Warp 50!

Asterios: -Okay!

System: Mission failure imminent

Asterios: Well, these things happen. Let’s get- let’s get back to this.

System: Mission: Critical

Asterios: Hey- oh. I thought it was Aciou. It’s early.

P’Nache: H’We-he-he-hell. The le bayou. She gon’ come for you she-ah.

Asterios: Alright?

P’Nache: Le bayou, Billy.

Asterios: Alright.

P’Nache: [Indecipherable]

Asterios: ...Alright.

System: Core temperature: Critical

Asterios: Let’s get back to this.

System: Mission failure imminent

Asterios: I’m the guy! I’m your go-to guy!

System: Mission: Critical

Asterios: I’m tryna-sphf I’m tryna get shit goin’ here.

TECHNO SONG
Can I do this without saying “the system is down”?
TECHNO SONG
I guess I can’t. The system is down.
TECHNO SONG
Robin Hood type- type stuff. How ‘bout that?
TECHNO SONG
Red alert! Reddest of alerts! Red alert! Red alert!
TECHNO SONG
Red alert! Red alert! Not yellow not green
TECHNO SONG
Red alert, it’s time for redalert! Oh shi-

Dick: ASTERIOOOS!

System: Urgent message from Sheriff of Nottingham

Asterios: Oh, you SOB’s...

Sheriff: What about me, the Sheriff? I’m in love with you, Robin!

Asterios: Could you like, disappear forever?

Sheriff: Robin Hood: one. Sheriff of Nottingham: zero-woah-woah-woaaah!

Asterios: God damn it!

System: Mission failure imminent

Asterios: Hmm.. Warp 10!

System: Warp 50

Asterios: Alright

System: Mission: Critical

Asterios: Warp 50!

System: Warp a million!

Asterios: Yea-hea-heaaaaah!
(manic laughter)

System: Redalertredalertredalertredalertredalert

Pentax: (I'll get you Robin Hood!)

Dick: Wooaah, you fucked up. You fucked up.
We're going at thousands, tens of thousands of miles an hour!
Ludicrous speed!

TECHNO SONG
System: Mission failure imminent
TECHNO SONG
Mission: Critical
TECHNO SONG
Core Temperature: Critical
TECHNO SONG
Asterios: We got a lot of that, what else can we do?
TECHNO SONG
We got pretty good drops. now we need
TECHNO SONG
'CAUSE I'M A DIGITAL CYBERDEMON!
Yea-hea-heaaaaah!

credits

from The Dick Show Album, released February 19, 2018
Written and produced by Aciou
Contains vocal samples of Asterios Kokkinos, Sean Jacobson,
and Dick Masterson

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

The Dick Show

The Dick Show is a weekly science and rage-based podcast.

contact / help

Contact The Dick Show

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

If you like The Dick Show, you may also like: