Hard Men Working Hard - The Ballad of The Goss

from The Dick Show Album by The Dick Show

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lyrics

Larry: This here’s a tale ‘bout a couple folks named Dick and Maddox.
Now, Dick was a dick, but Maddox? Well, he was something else...

Well Dick and Maddox used to host a show I kinda liked
They’d yell about some stupid shit and get into a fight
Apples, boxes, cucks and dogs, earthquakes fries and the rest
But they also had a super-loud unexpected guest

See, there was another man in town, his name Asterios
A boisterous man without a plan, he would join in with his bros
and who could forget The Man in Black, as handsome as he’s high
and Randy with his airhorn, boy, the show was quite a sight

But on one fateful winter’s night
the show would fall apart

Woah-oh-oh it was the biggest problem in the universe
Woah-oh-oh-oh it was the biggest problem in the universe

Larry: Those boys sure did bring in an awful lot of problems
but the real problems had only just begun...

Ya see, Maddox had a way that he would treat his lady friends
While Dick, he loved to play the fool, it was always just pretend
But Maddox had a different way of going about things
While Asterios was a sneaky Greek, he was no Armenian

Maddox’s temper was known to be a little combustible
and he even tried to stump the man we all knew was unstumpable
So when Dick allegedly took a girl that Maddox used to know
Maddox lost his Goddamn mind and started to explode

Nothin’ was the same since then,
and soon the show was no more...

Woah-oh-oh it was the biggest problem in the universe
Woah-oh-oh-oh it was the biggest problem in the universe

Larry: So Dick left, and never looked back.

Larry: Dick found himself with adoring fans who bought him a house.
While Maddox’s days are numbered: two if you count the cow’s.

Woah-oh-oh it was the biggest problem in the universe
Woah-oh-oh-oh it was the biggest problem in the universe

Larry: But while the Ballad may be over,
The real Goss has just begun...

credits

from The Dick Show Album, released February 19, 2018
Written and produced by Hard Men Working Hard
Vocals: Lakembra
Backing Vocals: Samglaze
Various Insruments: Samglaze

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The Dick Show is a weekly science and rage-based podcast.

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